The Reception

Making a memorable toast

The custom of wedding toasts is as old as the wedding ritual itself. Still, an age-old question often arises: What the heck do I say?

First things first. Stand up. Tap your glass to get everyone’s attention. Say, “I’d like to make a toast.” Then go. Keep it short (three minutes or less). A few other rules:

• A toast needn’t be fancy or terribly original, as long as it’s heartfelt and respectful. Don’t tell the story of how the wedding couple met in a public restroom. Nobody needs to know the bride is pregnant, or the groom has a Great White tattoo.
• Funny is okay; mean is not. Study Jon Bon Jovi’s salute at his wedding: “My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she is coming with me.”
• Is a funny toast about sex okay? It depends on the crowd and how you frame it. “May all your ups and downs be in bed” is okay for a small, casual celebration among close-knit attendees; at a Catholic, Muslim or orthodox Jewish wedding, not so much.
• Arguably the most egregious wedding-related gaffe is calling the bride or groom by the wrong name (it’s in a three-way tie with publicly challenging the bride’s chastity, and hurling). Any scheduled speaker with the potential to over-lubricate should be steered away from the bar prior to the public announcements.
• Need an easy way to create a good toast? Steal one. A famous quote or snippet of poetry works great. As in: “I never thought I’d meet someone like (insert partner’s name here). Shakespeare [or Sheryl Crow, or whoever] described my feelings best: (insert famous love quote here). This is the happiest day of my life.” You can find suitable pre-owned sentiments in your favorite sappy love songs, at the library, and all over the Internet. Some sites to try:

About.com
(http://quotations.about.com/cs/weddingtoasts/a/bls_wed_toasts.htm)

Brainy Quote
(http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/topics/topic_ love.html)

Bartlett’s Quotations
(http://www.bartleby.com/100/)

• If you’re still stumped for something to say, toast generators are available on the Web. Speeches.com has build-a-toast templates for the bride, groom, best man, brother of the groom, father of the bride, and matron of honor.

CHEERS!